Diary of a Mystic Fool

Words can only point...

Note: This is a follow-up regarding my post from a few days ago called ‘Beyond Jed McKenna & Leo Gura.’ I recommend reading that one first if you haven’t read it yet.

Is the world real or unreal?

Both, neither, far beyond either.

Do other people really exist or not?

Both, neither, far beyond either.

Is life meaning-full or meaningless?

Both, neither, far beyond either.

Is life purpose-full or purposeless?

Both, neither, far beyond either.

Is life valueless or infinitely valuable?

Both, neither, far beyond either.

Words can only point.

Words can only gesture clumsily in a general direction.

We go on chattering…

And meanwhile, Unsayable Truth simply is as it is.

And words do not apply.

Any pointer *can* be useful, though.

Pointers that ‘slaughter sacred cows’ are sometimes especially useful. They’re jarring. They can *snap* us out of a frame. They can pop a subtle bubble. Poke through an ultra-thin film that had silently encrusted itself upon our awareness.

This is where the radical nondual ‘butchers’—the Jed McKennas, Jim Newmans, Tony Parsons—can come in handy.

All their quasi-nihilistic, solipsistic talk of “no one here,” “no purpose,” “no value,” “no meaning,” “no others,” “no heart,” “no oneness,” etc…

Is jarring. 

For someone unprepared for that type of pointing, such words can be immensely depressing and destabilizing. 

For one who is *ready* for that type of pointing, on the other hand, such words may prove tremendously liberating—welcome darts puncturing bubbles of subtle grasping.

“Both, neither, far beyond either”—a favorite mantra of mine and the title of one of my books—indicates that some truth or signal or validity can be found in any pointer, while also indicating that no pointer is (fully) true, and that the capital-T Truth is ultimately ‘far beyond.’

A worthwhile aim is to no longer *fear* the possible truth within any pointer.

The more profoundly one is *established* in the intimate knowing of God… 

The less that any words can be of any concern.

“Oh, I live in a meaningless, purposeless, value-less simulation and there are no others? I am the sole awareness in all of existence and everything else is my own dream? The apocalypse is coming and Earth will be reduced to nuclear ash next Tuesday? Ok, cool, if you say so! That would be pretty wild, I guess.”

Feel into that level of equanimity. 

*That* level of REST in God.

“God Alone Is Enough,” as St. Teresa of Avila said.

Imagine *really* feeling that.

*Really* *knowing* that you shall rest with/as God for Eternity, and *knowing* that in that simple fact there is a Joy, a Peace, a Love, and a Fulfillment *SO VAST* that nothing can possibly infringe upon it. No words or news can deflate your Peaceful Certainty. Nothing is needed, craved, or expected from anyone else, because you are already so fully *with* the Lord. *Resting* *as* *the* *Lord*.

Some true gurus and sages—Ramana Maharshi, Sri Anandamayi Ma, Paramahansa Yogananda—seem to have realized an abiding state similar to what I’m describing while still embodied on Earth. That is quite extraordinary.

“My consciousness has never associated itself with this temporary body. Before I came on this earth, Father, I was the same. As a little girl, I was the same. I grew into womanhood, but still I was the same. When the family in which I had been born made arrangements to have this body married, I was the same. And, Father, in front of you now, I am the same. Ever afterward, though the dance of creation change around me in the hall of eternity, I shall be the same.”  — Ma

‘Gratitude Journal’: Reflecting on where I’m at

I’m comfortable admitting that while I’ve experienced (glimpses of) states like this, I’m not in this sort of state the vast majority of the time. I’m not even sure I’d really want that right now. I like where I’m at. I like being attached to my daughter, my wife, my parents, my siblings and family and friends. I like being human and experiencing human love. I’m not sure I’d want to be unaffected by the deaths of loved ones.

(A large part of me would like to finally stop eating meat and thereby deepen my commitment to non-harm, but I seem not to be quite there yet. I’ve grappled with this for many years and it’s been alive for me again recently.)

I’m in a space where I’m basically just ‘being human’ a sizable amount of the time. I go about my day and am often simply being ‘that fool JB,’ roamin’ along, sometimes up, sometimes down, generally enjoying the adventure.

At the same time, I am also extremely grateful that some sort of God-Fire touched my Heart many years ago, initiating a many-layered awakening process that is ongoing. 

I’m glad I am compelled to remember God, notice God, pray to God, and practice to be closer to God. I am glad I focus on God often—usually many times per day. Sometimes just for a few moments, sometimes a few minutes, sometimes a few hours.

I’m glad I can quite easily ‘flip a switch’ internally and notice that present experience is *always* a miraculous un-price-able mystery. I’m glad my ‘ordinary vision’ is often imbued with an ambience of (aesthetic) appreciation and luminosity.

I’m glad I can write a piece like this and feel a lot of joy while doing so. I’m glad I have come to trust God so deeply. I’m glad I tend to trust every single moment of life, seeing it all as God’s will. I’m glad I can feel a sense of lightness even while contemplating the possibility that life is meaningless, purposeless, value-less, and that I may be the sole consciousness here. I’m glad that I love to contemplate. I’m glad I love finding creative ways to ‘snap myself out’ of my story and habitual reference points—so as to glimpse the ever-present Divine Display with newness, freshness, and a sense of smoldering, mirthful astonishment. I’m glad I pray and worship in churches until my knees hurt—humbling myself before the Almighty, asking for Grace and Mercy. I’m glad I feel God here with me now. I am honored to be one of many Messengers for Him.

Yogananda has said that the ‘Divine Romance’ between the soul and God is the greatest experience of Love. I am compelled to agree, especially considering that *all* forms of Love are none other than the Love of God—though filtered through varying degrees of veiled-ness. When we love anyone or anything, we are (secretly) loving God. For “Christ is all, and in all,” as it says in the Good Book. God is Christ is Goddess is All. God is the Highest Light Which Has No Opposite. We are all children emanating from that One Light.

[Note: Yogananda’s books ‘The Divine Romance’ and ‘The Second Coming of Christ’ are feeling quite helpful and integrative for me right now. Highly recommended. Also the book ‘LSD & the Mind of the Universe’ by Christopher Bache—incredible text. These are affiliate links so I get a small kickback if you use them.]

In Sum

Drawing things to a close here…

I do wanna be clear once more that I view these notions of meaninglessness, purposelessness, value-less-ness, and “no others” as dangerous half-truths.

These can be effective pointers depending on your ripeness for such darts. Yet do not make the mistake of over-concretizing such ideas and thrusting yourself into an ominous reality-tunnel…

Never forget the “far beyond” in “both, neither, far beyond either”…

Reality is *always* far beyond *any* position one can take on it.

And reality is Love.

You can trust reality.

If you believe you’ve discovered reality and you feel deeply disturbed by what you’ve found…

That is not the full or final truth of reality.

God is reality and God is wonderful beyond all imagining.

God is this Fullness Here Now, shaping Herself into all these myriad living sculptures.

Blessed are we to dance on this Hallowed Ground.

Blessed are we to walk upon Mother Gaia.

Blessed are we to share such intimacy with so many children of God—plants and creatures of such diverse radiant forms.

Thank you, God.

Thank you, Life.

Thank you, Love.

Thank you, Grace.

Always already Free to be exactly what we are.

Amen.

With Joy,
J

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www.jordanbates.life