Grieving the Great Peter Brown

A personal story about my friend and teacher...

Oct 30, 2024

Photo found on the back cover of Peter’s posthumous book, *Liberation Beyond Imagination,* compiled by Nic Higham.

“The one thing that is self-verifyingly true is is-ness, THIS, right here right now. It doesn’t depend upon hypotheses. It doesn’t depend upon assertions. The point is to look for yourself and see for yourself. See the truth of it.”
— Peter Brown, This That Is

Today I am feeling great love for my late friend and teacher, Peter Brown.

Peter was/is truly a jewel of a human being.

An inimitable, tenacious, mischievous, fun-loving character in the Divine Play.

His teaching is pure clarifying fire.

He passed on in 2022, yet he left us a true treasure trove of wisdom.

I have spent more hours reading and listening to his words than any other earthly teacher—countless hours. I love listening to him on long walks, or reading his books in the sauna.

He is always speaking about only one thing. His message is simple. If I were to put it in my own words, I’d say:

This is it. Right here, right now, is the finish line. True curiosity about immediate naked experience leads to the discovery of miraculousness as the fundamental condition of reality itself. This miraculousness is love. It's you. It's God. It's all. It is what we are all truly looking for. And it is right in front of us at all times. You are home.

If this message sparks anything for you, I maximally, heartfully recommend Peter’s work, books, and audios.

A Personal Experience of Peter

Last night I had a personal experience of Peter that I wanted to share with all of you.

Yesterday evening was the first session of an 8-week book group with John Astin and Dena Evans, exploring Peter’s new posthumous book, Liberation Beyond Imagination—an epic 800-page tome about nothing other than this-here-now—what Peter calls ‘radiant presence.’ (You may still be able to join this wonderful 8-week donation-based exploration if you email John at john@johnastin.com.)

John and Dena do a splendid job of honoring Peter’s legacy and of precisely elucidating the radiantly present nature of reality. John also leads a free / donation-based satsang-style session every Sunday. I highly recommend their work.

So, here’s the story…

While on the call with John, Dena, and ~54 other curious explorers last night, I decided to go out for a walk in the light rain in Germany. I had been on Zoom for hours already before the call so a walk sounded nice.

I was walking in the dark drizzle listening to the beautiful session, and I happened to be repeating the mantra, "There is no me," to myself. I was coming into quite a direct space of being with & melting into instantaneous radiance in a cozy intimacy—being/witnessing the sparkling melting-away-ness of it.

Just then it occurred to me that I had never fully grieved Peter's death. It occurred to me that—though I'd never consciously realized it—Peter had been something like a father figure to me. I realized his physical human form was really gone and I started crying. And the crying intensified and I reached a point of really sobbing. It felt quite precious, vulnerable, sacred to feel this grief and pain in honor of Peter.

Somewhere in the midst of this I began to actually receive a visionary impression of Peter—like a glimmering glimpse of him in some subtle-etheric realm. This has happened once or twice before since his death. He was smiling, eyes twinkling like a trickster, looking adventurous—his hair wild and blowing back as if in the wind—and there was a very distinct sense that he was with all of us on the call—present with us, appreciating with us, radiating with/to us.

It was poignant to see and feel him—joy-bringing yet painful. I felt sorrow that I had never gotten to meet Peter in person—only on Zoom—and I told him so. I'm not sure if I said it aloud or only as a thought, but I said, "I'm sorry I never came to see you in person." And the feeling was that I didn't know he was going to die only a couple years after meeting him. I wished I had known so I could have gone to him...

"I'm sorry I never came to see you in person," I expressed while crying.

And then I distinctly 'heard' Peter reply, "Where else would I be?"

The clear implication was that he was right there with me. Right where he always is. Right where we all always are. For he is Radiant Presence—our true father. He is Eternal Radiant Presence—as we all are.

I believe I cried harder then, feeling a mixture of comfort, grief, happiness, poignancy, and recognition.

And it was around then that I realized a woman on the call was speaking about her father, and then I heard John and Dena share beautiful words about noticing the infinity of our fathers, our parents... and it felt like a gorgeous synchronicity to notice this, after grieving for Peter as a lost father figure, only to have him point out to me that he—like all of us—is the omnipresent, undying father. Always with us.

Thank you, Peter.

I love you and I am forever grateful.

Love,
Jordan

A few quotes from Peter:

“The present experience is where the money is.”
“Feel into it like putting your hand in bath water. Feel into it like reading psychic braille.”
“A bum pissing = a holy man.”

“How do you classify infinity? How do you classify something that’s always completely different form itself every single instant for eternity? All ideas are fantasies. All structures are fantasies. All mapping is fantasy.”

“Always do your best. Give it your best shot.”

“Not holding ourselves apart from it in imagination, not holding ourselves as individual, as personal, as separate. When our agenda becomes its agenda then its power, its authority, becomes our authority, our energizer, the source of our action. This is a very powerful position to be in and I recommend it.”

“What it is, is independent of circumstances. An atom bomb could go off right here in this room and what THIS is would not be different. Jesus Christ and Buddha and Ramana Maharshi and Padmasambhava could come floating in on a cloud right now and what THIS is would not be any different than it is right now.”

“75% of the path is ceasing to think we know what THIS is.”

“Beer is pure intelligence…”

“If I think it is in any sense finite or static or concrete or inert I am cheating myself of my birthright, my own wealth, my own bottomless fountain of vitality, fulfillment, creativity, inspiration.”

“There’s nothing to dissolve. It’s all already Light. This is God. End of story. If you wanna say more, you can, but it’s irrelevant.”

“To me, love is the absolute harmony of all being with itself, the entire field in perfect harmony with itself. It doesn’t fight with itself. It doesn’t get in its own way. It’s like a perfect dance with itself. To me, that’s what love means.”

“The one thing that is self-verifyingly true is is-ness, THIS, right here right now. It doesn’t depend upon hypotheses. It doesn’t depend upon assertions. The point is to look for yourself and see for yourself. See the truth of it.”

“Check it out.”