I am not a stainless buddha.
I am a man.
A raw, real man.
With his own sorrows and struggles.
And a cracked heart that often can’t decide whether to open further or close.
As morning rain falls on this foggy island…
I give thanks for the reality of my life.
Not the curated, photoshopped IG version.
My real life.
The knots in my chest.
The squabbles with my partner, Tanja.
The self-doubt and insecurity.
The mysterious recurring tingling in my brain.
The soreness in my jaw, from stressed clenching in the night.
The old internal wounds that still flare up.
The self-aggrandizing protection mechanisms that shield my soft underbelly.
The financial uncertainty.
The credit card debts I haven’t yet paid.
The crypto investments that may not recover.
The resistance to total surrender and deep service.
The longing for home and family.
The sadness of our daughter Lila’s grandparents living on different continents.
The feelings of being trapped in this life of vacation destinations and ‘radical freedom.’
The realization that every path is a cage in its own way.
(So choose your cage wisely).
In this moment, I give thanks for it all…
The joys too.
Our cozy little family.
Tender cuddles with Tanja.
My incredible parents flying all the way to Azores to visit us this week.
Lila’s priceless smile that I wouldn’t trade for all the riches in the universe.
My dear brothers Trevor and Dillon visiting us on the island.
Moments of silence, presence, and stillness.
Animal friends.
Time with ancient tree-giants and waterfalls.
Teachers all around.
Dance, song, laughter.
Many wonderful family and friends on this wild green Earth.
My ability to create.
The freedom to spend so much time doing things I love.
My inexhaustible persistence and determination.
My great faith in God.
My indefatigable mad love for life.
Thank you, God, for all of it.
I wouldn’t change it.
Some days I feel like I want to.
But when I’m really, really honest…
I wouldn’t trade it.
I wouldn’t edit this poem.
I want all of it.
I keep learning to trust all of it.
God…
You are just as present in the mud as in the sky.
Just as present in the black night as in the sunlight.
As Mac Miller once said…
“I find Jehovah in the darkest places
Empty as apartment basements.”
You are within all of it, God.
Dispensing medicine through all of it.
I feel you.
I feel you here with me, God.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Love,
Jordan
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Volcano Island is 3 weeks away.
There are still a couple spaces left for my upcoming retreat in Azores.
I intend to hold a raw, real space in which all of life can be embraced.
While also empowering you with deeply pragmatic understandings of earthly life, business, service, and leadership.
It will be a powerful and paradigm-shifting experience—one that touches your hidden depths.
If you feel the call…
Apply here and let’s have a conversation and find a way to make it happen.
With Love,
Jordan
Jordan Bates is a Dad, Teacher, Mentor, Artist, Rapper, CEO, and Lover of Divinity. If you feel called to work with Jordan, apply for his upcoming retreat, Volcano Island, his upcoming mastermind for men, The Heart-Led King, and his new 1:1 journey, Sacred Power. Dive deeper and support his work by subscribing on Instagram, Telegram, Twitter, Facebook, and/or YouTube.
Wonderful Jordan,
You certainly make us think outside the box.
I wish I could come on your retreat, not possible at moment as husband health problems
Loved your article on Alan Watts.
At the age of 68, I have been married 49 years,3 children.
From age 24 Teacher of piano
From Age 46 teacher of dance ( along with my husband)
Year 2019 , husband went down with G. B.S.
Had to give up dancing,
I was thrown into being a carer, my
, husband bounced back, this year hit with prostrate cancer ( curative)
He is now has the mindset as I have,
Acceptance and Gratitude.
Life is a journey for us all as you remind us so eloquently, it is so deliciously delightful
to read your thoughts.
A thousand thank you’s. We just have to release and let go dont’t we or we could end up totally mad.
Life is not easy, but there is a massive amount of joy to be had when you take time to smell the roses.
Have a fabulous time with your family, that time is priceless.
Thanks again for your very interesting articles.
Best Wishes
Rita
This was so raw and beautiful. It brought tears to my eyes.