“When a wise man hears of the Tao,
he immediately begins to embody it.
When an average man hears of the Tao,
he half believes it, half doubts it.
When a foolish man hears of the Tao,
he laughs out loud.
If he didn’t laugh,
it wouldn’t be the Tao.”— Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
True manhood transcends manhood.
It’s not about fitting oneself into some preconceived idea of “masculinity.”
It’s not about constantly being “in your masculine” in order to generate proper “polarity” with women.
In my observation…
It’s about having the courage to relax into the fullness (and emptiness) of what you actually are.
It’s about embracing and expressing the total many-flavored spectrum of your being, with grace, ease, honor, artfulness, and skillfulness…
While also having the humility to see that you’re no one at all—to see that you’re totally ordinary, no more ‘special’ than anyone else.
In truth, you’re made of nothingness.
Now, granted, this radiant nothingness is also the everythingness of all-singing, all-dancing Creation….
But it’s also nothing at all. Lower than the lowest valley. Emptier than space.
To be a “true man”—if this phrase means anything at all—must entail being a true human being…
And to be a true human being is to go beyond all labels and categories…
It is to see that the poetry that you are, is far transcendent of any attempt to pin it down.
Thus, to be a true man is to let yourself be the fluid, un-box-able song that you are.
Sometimes this will look like being more in your masculine…
Sometimes this will look like being more in your feminine…
Sometimes this will look like being neither masculine nor feminine…
Sometimes this will look like being in your child-self…
Sometimes this will look like being in your animal-self…
Or in your king…
Or your peasant…
Or your warrior…
Or your artist…
Or your builder…
Or your wizard…
Or your provider…
Or your lover…
Or your protector…
Or your narcissist…
Or your rager…
Or your needy little boy…
Sometimes you will be hard, sometimes you will be soft…
Sometimes you will be strong, sometimes you will let yourself fall apart in tears…
Sometimes you will fill a clear role, sometimes you will be faceless…
Sometimes you will be human, sometimes you will be mystery…
Sometimes you will be kind, sometimes you will be an asshole…
Sometimes you will be fearless, sometimes you will be terrified…
Sometimes you will be unemotional, sometimes you will be overwhelmed by the gushing of repressed wounds…
Sometimes you will be on a mission, sometimes you will drift like a leaf on the sea…
Sometimes you will be in your creative power, sometimes you will feel helpless…
Sometimes you will ‘take care of business,’ sometimes you will trip and stumble…
Sometimes you will flow in your highest calling, sometimes you will do the hard thing that must be done…
Sometimes you will be modest, sometimes you will be inflated and arrogant…
Sometimes you will exert your will, sometimes you will let go and surrender…
Sometimes you will be of selfless service, sometimes you will put yourself first…
Sometimes you will feel solidly ‘put together,’ sometimes your heart will break open and spill its contents uncontrollably…
There’s room for all of it.
There’s room for all of you.
“Be like water, my friend.”
True manhood transcends manhood.
The true man is un-pin-down-able.
Above all, he is himself.
And if he really is himself, he is far more than man.
He is also woman, child, angel, demon, buddha, devil, saint, sinner, all, none, everything in-between, and far beyond what could ever be said.
He transcends and includes manhood.
He skillfully wields the tools of manhood, yet he is not limited to these tools.
Numberless other tools and energies are available to him.
And he lets himself wield these spontaneously, as indicated.
He lets himself be what he organically is, moment to moment.
He shape-shifts ongoingly yet does not depart from himself.
He allows the wholeness of a situation to call forth what is needed from him.
He dances in many styles yet remains in his natural expression.
Above all, he is honest.
He is what he is.
There is a relaxation in the way that he is what he is.
This relaxation—this not needing to be different—is the secret to his natural blossoming.
Necessarily, he is unlike any other.
(Yet he is not special.)
His texture is his own.
(Just like everyone else.)
God makes each being a 1/1 original, yet it is a rare man who fully embraces his originality.
(And his commonness.)
Thus, the true man flows and flowers inimitably…
Yet knows he is as empty as everything else.
In seeing the indivisible emptiness-fullness of it all…
And in seeing the universality of pain…
He discovers love.
He sees that every creature is his own self in another disguise.
One mystery, infinite expressions.
Thus, compassion is born.
A seeing of inherent innocence, is born.
A seeing of ‘extraordinary ordinariness,’ is born.
A seeing of completion, is born.
“All faces are my own face.”
Thus, the man practices love.
He practices allowing himself and all other beings to be exactly as they are.
In his messy, ramshackle, perfectly-imperfect, human way…
He practices love.
“The Master views the parts with compassion,
because he understands the whole.
His constant practice is humility.
He doesn’t glitter like a jewel
but lets himself be shaped by the Tao,
as rugged and common as stone.”— Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
The Tao of Man — A Free Digital Men’s Retreat
Sat - Sun, July 30th - 31st, 2022
Tao: An ancient word meaning “the way,” signifying the absolute principle underlying existence—and the path of artfully aligning one’s life with this principle
On Saturday and Sunday, July 30th and 31st, I am hosting a free digital men’s retreat called The Tao of Man.
The retreat will last from 2pm - 5pm UTC each day of the weekend — 2pm - 5pm on Saturday, and 2pm - 5pm on Sunday.
It will involve the ancient practice of the Circle, as well as a number of other practices, exercises, and modalities.
Men are welcome to join either day, or both days.
The primary purpose of the retreat is this:
To create an experience that assists men in knowing themselves, returning home to wholeness, relaxing into who they already are, activating creative power, and blossoming along their natural course.
A secondary purpose is this:
To provide a prelude to Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart—the longer upcoming brotherhood journey I’m leading. I want to give men a hearty serving of my unique flavor of men’s work, so they can get a clearer idea if this work is for them.
Though I may speak about it briefly at some point, or answer questions about it, there will be no ‘hard sell’ or pressure to join Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart. It’s perfectly welcome and encouraged to attend the retreat, even if you do not join Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart afterwards.
Thank you for reading, brothers.
If you feel a spark and a call to deepen into the Tao of artful manhood…
Click here or the button below to register, and I'll see you there.
Love,
Jordan