“I am not Jordan Bates.”
“I am not this body.”
“I am not Jordan Bates.”
“I am not this body.”
“I am not Jordan Bates.”
“I am not this body.”
“I am not Jordan Bates.”
“I am not this body.”
…
I repeated this mantra over and over again to myself today.
Probably hundreds of times.
While listening to a gorgeous recitation of a text by Ramana Maharshi.
As I did this, ‘I’ ceased to be, and there was nothing other than God.
Many times I also said to myself:
“I do not want anything from anything.”
“I do not want anything from anything.”
“I do not want anything from anything.”
“I do not want anything from anything.”
This was a mantra I recently learned from the rascally trickster, Bentinho Massaro.
Both mantras—“I am not Jordan Bates. I am not this body.” and “I do not want anything from anything.”—are effective means of short-circuiting the mind.
Why short-circuit the mind?
Because the mind is delusion.
The mind is rooted in falsity.
No mentalization is true.
No idea is true.
No belief is true.
No concept is true.
No ideology is true.
Our most elaborate ‘scientific’ theories and even ‘spiritual’ models of the cosmos are children’s toys—laughably inaccurate. All words—including all the ones on this page—are laughably inaccurate.
The mind must be transcended. It must be seen through.
The mind is rooted in the assumption of a world of separate objects.
The mind is entirely rooted in the assumption of a separate self trying to ‘get somewhere’ or accomplish objectives within a spatiotemporal world.
Yet in truth there is no world.
There is no self.
There is no body.
There are no objects.
There is only Reality.
There is only One.
And even calling it ‘One’ is saying too much.
It can’t be said.
It is a part-less Whole—an indivisible Wholeness.
All apparent worlds and entities are insubstantial; they have no independent existence of their own.
They borrow their existence from the Reality of the One Self.
The One God.
All the infinite beings and dimensions are *entirely* made of God.
More directly, they simply *are* God.
God cannot be known by the mind, for the mind can only try to squeeze God into a concept.
This is like trying to squeeze an infinite super-ocean into a Gatorade bottle.
It is the height of folly. It cannot be done.
To assume that one knows what *anything* *is*—*whatsoever*—is the height of folly. It is pure arrogance.
For to know what *anything* *is*, you would have to know what *everything* is.
As Carl Sagan put it, “In order to bake an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.”
The everything-ness is an essential precursor to the anything-ness.
The all-ness precedes all particularities.
All particularities flow out of all-ness and are entirely made of the all-ness.
Thus, to know what any particularity *is*, one would have to know what the all-ness is.
Yet the all-ness *cannot* *be* *known*.
God is unknowable.
At least in terms of the mind, that is—in terms of what mankind considers ‘knowledge.’
Paradoxically, God *can* be known.
And in fact God is all that you have ever known.
For God is all.
God cannot be known or grasped by the mind.
Yet God can be *experienced* directly.
One can *be* God.
*Melt into* God.
One can see that one is already made of God—and always has been.
One can let the world go—let the self die—let the mind die—and discover God as the sole eternal Reality.
In doing so, one can directly discover—with ever greater certainty and conviction—that God is all.
What God *is*, though, can never be pinned down or resolved.
When we meet God directly and non-conceptually, God can begin to reveal His qualities to us.
Qualities such as: Unfathomable love, grace, innocence, openness, un-stuck-ness, independence, freedom, radiance, meaningfulness, infinity, inclusivity, emptiness, fullness, bottomlessness.
And yet God can never be resolved or confined to being any one of these inherent qualities.
God is the Forever Beyond.
God is the Immortal Light of the Forever Beyond.
The Imperishable, Unresolvable Finality.
Absolute Truth.
The Supreme Lord.
God is all of these and none of these.
Both, neither, far beyond either.
No label can contain God.
Not even the word “God” can contain God.
(No experience can even fully contain God.)
All words are simply gestures—fingers pointing at the moon.
Find the moon, don’t get stuck on the finger.
Lofty labels can sometimes be a misleading distraction.
A distraction from the *utter simplicity* of God.
God is simply this one eternal moment.
God is simply what is right in front of you.
God is the cheese sandwich.
God is the pumpkin beer.
All experiences are nothing other than God.
Nothing other than Reality.
Nothing other than *Finality*.
God is already done, you see.
God is the finish line.
God has no beginning, middle, and end.
Zero distance or duration.
Nothing can ever change the fact of God.
“What IT is, is independent of circumstances. An atom bomb could go off right here in this room and what THIS is would not be different. Jesus Christ and Buddha and Ramana Maharshi and Padmasambhava could come floating in on a cloud right now and what THIS is would not be any different than it is right now.”
God is unalterable.
Even as everything in ‘the world’ seems to change, come and go, arise and pass away…
This is akin to an illusion, an apparition, a parlor trick.
For what is Truly Real never once moves or alters one iota.
It simply *is*.
It abides.
It is done.
Ask yourself, “What is it in my experience that has never once changed? What has always been there since before I was born, and what will still be there when this body has died?”
Again, the mind must be silenced in order to *see* the truth clearly.
Eventually, the mind itself can also be witnessed as nothing other than an inconceivable emanation of God. The mind can then be seen as a direct, immediate, mysterious energy-event—which is what it and everything truly is: An energy-event made out of immutable God-ness.
The mind is then seen through. It is seen that the mind’s ‘normal’ functioning is actually a kind of hypnosis—in which the mind seduces and hoodwinks itself into believing its own stories; believing that words and ideas actually refer to anything other than themselves.
In actuality, the mind is purely self-referential, referring only to its own self-generated matrix—its own conceptual labyrinth. In another sense, we could say that all words and ideas *truthfully* refer only to God.
To see through the mind, though, it is likely best to first learn to silence the mind altogether.
There are many strategies and approaches that can effectively silence the mind.
Find what works for you.
For me, the repetition of certain mantras—or listening to Peter Brown, Ramana Maharshi, Sri Anandamayi Ma, Thomas Merton, or other direct transmitters of truth—or simply willfully dropping all definitions, descriptions, and identities and being with Reality as Naked Mystery—seem in recent times to be most effective.
Silence the mind, the self, and all desires.
Become an empty space that does not want anything from anything.
You can practice this at any time.
God is always readily available for your examination.
For God is all there is!
God is all you are ever experiencing!
This is a highly auspicious fact.
It means that inquiry into the nature of reality—and the opportunity to realize what you truly are—are forever close at hand. Closer than your bones.
This is the great cosmic joke: Reality is all that there is. It is nakedly revealed before us in every moment. And yet most of us wander for 80 years through this Earth-realm never noticing it, or barely noticing it, or only semi-consciously glimpsing it in rare moments.
This is perfectly okay. There is nothing ‘wrong’ with this fact. It is as it is. It is Lila—the Divine Play of Existence; the never-ending Game of Hide-And-Seek.
Forgetting and remembering, forgetting and remembering, God dances on for limitless aeons, exploring its numberless possibilities, yet all the while truthfully never departing from the already-complete Finality of What It Is.
Yet at a certain point, you may begin to tire of forgetfulness.
Since you are still reading these words—and especially if you are actually able to *really hear* what I am saying—it is likely that you are becoming tired of Samsara.
You are becoming tired of your fictitious identification as a person running around in a worldly maze, chasing the pleasure of sense-objects.
This identification can be quite ecstatically fun, yet it inevitably also entails certain forms of misery, unsatisfactoriness, a sense of incompleteness, a sense of chasing after an ever-receding horizon.
“The porn and cigarettes cannot fill that God-shaped hole in your chest.”
— jb, ‘god loves ugly’
This is why the Buddha said, “Life is suffering.”
Specifically, (I believe) he meant that:
Identification as a separate self seeking satisfaction via an apparent world of apparently separate sense-objects results in an inherent (vague) unsatisfactoriness.
This unsatisfactoriness may be extremely subtle and nearly unnoticeable for a long time. Yet over time it may grow into a palpable exhaustion, burnt-out-ness, fed-up-ness—a tangible sense of suffering—and this is often the catalyst for deeper inquiry.
Exhaustion with identification as a person in a world of sense-objects—and all the conundrums and entanglements that this identification implies/engenders—inspires people to begin asking themselves, “What is life? What am I? What is suffering? What is at the root? Is this all there is? Is there not something more to life than running in these endless loops like a rat in a maze?”
This questioning is a strong indicator of impending salvation.
The suffering, as it turns out, is Grace, for it propels the person to begin seeking Truth and the end of suffering.
Salvation and liberation cannot, however, be accomplished by our own efforts.
These occur only through Grace.
And yet paradoxically, when one finds oneself making serious efforts to discover Truth, this is a strong indicator that Grace is present and has begun to guide the seeker Homeward to God.
Surrender to this Grace.
Let it show you what it is.
Let it remove the filters of the mind and reveal the Naked Omnipresence of the Inconceivable.
Immutable, Stainless Peace.
Infinity.
Infinity is what you are.
Infinity indicates the non-finite-ness of all things—the un-pin-down-ability, the unresolvability.
Nothing in all the world can be put into a finite box.
Nothing can be definitively categorized as being ‘this or that.’
The more you stare silently in stillness at any apparent sense-object, the more it ceases to seem familiar.
It begins to dissolve, to reveal its non-solidity, to open into non-fixity.
It’s all far more wavy and slippery and unstuck than we commonly let ourselves notice. This is true of all things.
Stare at *anything* for long enough and you will discover that you do not know what it is.
This is the meaning of infinity. Non-finitude. Un-box-ability. Emptiness.
‘Emptiness’ simply means that Reality is empty of definable attributes.
Empty of anything that can be pinned down as being ‘this or that.’
Empty of separable, distinguishable, definable objects.
When Reality is seen to be empty, it is then also seen to be utterly Full.
It is a Fullness.
It is erupting with astonishing flavors and textures and shapes and colors and energies and suggestiveness.
You simply cannot say what any of these flavors/textures actually *are*, and you cannot truly distinguish them from the *full field*—the foundational immutable Being-ness of which they are made.
‘Human life’ is then seen to be the un-pin-down-able Self-Luminosity of the One Changeless Self.
That One Self is All.
God is All.
As one increasingly sees and directly knows this fact—and begins to *live* in/as this fact—one’s most basic operating system will be reformatted.
One is increasingly able to rest in/as the Light of God, untroubled by the movements of the world, drawing no distinction between various phenomena, seeing all apparent events as unknowable waves on the One Ocean.
“The Great Way is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If you wish to see the truth, then hold no opinions for, or against, anything.”
— Seng-T'san, Hsin Hsin Ming
For most people, the personality will likely still retain many of its preferences, even after years of deepening realization.
BBQ chicken will continue to taste better than poop. 💩
One will still prefer that one’s family is safe. And so on.
And yet there will also be a simultaneous deepening of in-touch-ness with That Which Has No Preferences.
That Which Is Truly Real.
There will be an increasing ability to rest in/as That Which Is Truly Real.
And every nanosecond of such rest will be precious.
For this rest in/as God is true peace.
It is joy.
It is the direct revelation of Eternal Love.
Life will still be painful at times. Pain is a great teacher, a great humbler, a great heart-opener, a great sacramental poem.
Life will still contain its apparent triumphs and sorrows.
Yet one who directly knows God will be increasingly unswayed.
Emotions and energies will still be felt and will crack the Heart open wider—likely with ever greater intensity as one’s sensitivity increases—and yet all of this will increasingly be witnessed by The One Who Is Ever At Rest.
All life-situations will increasingly be seen as gorgeous living poems or koan-esque art-works sculpted by the Hand of the Creator, made entirely out of Inviolable, Changeless Light.
As one becomes rooted more deeply in That Finality Which Simply Does Not Move, the events of human life will have less power to ‘hook’ one back into total separative forgetfulness.
Again, this does not mean that one will not feel deeply.
To the contrary, there is an ever-increasing *sensitivity* and *intimacy* with all of life—an ever fuller *arriving* in/as the Heart of the human experience—such that one will *truly feel* the full spectrum of elations and sorrows that ripple through the collective body.
The Heart Opens Ever Wider.
"If you cannot weep with a person who is crying, there is no kensho."
— Yamada Koun
And yet even as one serves as an aperture through which God is enabled to be *deeply moved and affected* by the trials of Creation…
God remains unaffected.
And one will be increasingly able to stay rooted in/as that Unmoving Center.
“Just stay at the center of the circle and let all things take their course.”
— Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
As such, many forms of suffering and misery will evaporate from one’s life.
For one will know:
God is already God.
God is already finished.
God is unalterable.
God is doing all of this, God is breathing us, God is living us, God is dancing in/as us through this unknowable heart-opening sacrament called ‘Life.’
All is already God.
‘I’ can totally, absolutely, unconditionally trust God.
For God is Love.
God is the Highest Good Which Has No Opposite.
In my Heart of Hearts, I do not want or need anything from this world.
‘I’ am entirely made of God.
All things—including all that ‘I’ like or dislike, prefer or reject, glorify or demonize, cling to or push away—are also entirely made of God.
All is God.
Therefore, ‘I’ can stop the endless game of chasing pleasure and running away from pain.
I can stop seeing ‘things’ as ‘things.’
I can directly see all forms as formless God-ness, and I can rest in/as God-ness.
In so doing, I cease to need life to be different from how it already is.
In so doing, I allow life to be exactly as it is.
In so doing, I witness the naked wondrousness of all noumena.
In so doing, I am at peace.
Amen.
“Always bear this in mind: Everything is in God’s hands, and you are His tool to be used by Him as He pleases. Try to grasp the significance of ‘all is His’ and you will immediately feel free from all burdens. What will be the result of your surrender to Him? None will seem alien, all will be your very own, your Self.”
Afterword: JB Here Saying, “What Up!” : )
Thank you for reading, my friend.
You are beautiful.
I hope you found value in these words.
They arose quite directly out of another profound period of inner stillness and revelation today.
I want to be clear that these words aren’t really ‘mine’ and aren’t really about me.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart: do not rest on your own understanding.”
— The Bible
Like all things, these words I have written belong only to God.
Whatever value or power they may have, is fully attributable to God.
(Though my ego would sure like to take the credit!)
They represent an attempt to translate direct revelation from God.
They are simply conceptual symbols and *cannot* possibly contain God at all. They can only gesture.
I first began to experience direct mystical revelation of/from God about ~13 years ago.
Since that time, there has been an ongoing non-linear deepening of this revelation.
Sometimes there are long periods where I am less connected to this revelation.
At other times a fresh wave of revelation occurs, and I am brought ‘face to face’ with the direct fact of God.
Yet over time there is a clear pattern of deepening.
In recent days ‘I’ am experiencing one of the most direct and all-devouring waves of revelation that I have experienced.
This is occurring largely while I am completely ‘sober,’ simply repeating mantras and/or listening to teachers and/or engaging in direct non-conceptual meditation-contemplation-prayer.
This revelation is occurring spontaneously by Grace.
Although at the same time, there is also a growing sense of intense focus and motivation.
There is a heightening sense of not wanting to forget this directness again.
A sense of growing readiness to plunge ‘deeper.’
A sense of rising commitment to remain in the Presence of God—with ever-increasing continuity—for the rest of ‘my life’ and beyond.
Part of me is scared of this. Scared of what it means and scared that I will ‘fail’ at it (—as if that were possible!).
After all, it requires immense dedication and concentration to relinquish the mind for long spans of time.
Though over time, one can relax into it and it becomes more natural and easeful.
And after a while, I believe the mode of non-conceptual engagement with naked Reality will build sufficient momentum, such that it becomes one’s effortless default mode.
Yet so far that has never become the case for me.
At least not permanently.
I always gradually slip back into the duality of ‘Samsara.’
Even as this happens at times in recent years, I do retain a profound faith and conviction that God is Real, God is All, God is Good, and God can be completely Trusted.
And when I really want to, I can generally willfully tap into a direct experience of Life as Naked God Mystery.
This alone has brought immeasurable relief and upliftment to my life.
And yet perhaps now I am ready to go deeper.
I don’t know. We will see what God has in store.
All I know is that I seem to be sustaining states of non-conceptual engagement for longer periods of time.
I am retaining the capacity to rest in/as God more uninterruptedly, even as I go about the affairs of day-to-day life.
All of life is feeling more and more like an endless meditation.
I notice that this is a lot on my brain and nervous system.
I have felt rather ‘fried’ after some of these recent hours-long sequences of spontaneous non-conceptual resting-ness in Life-As-God.
When this happens, I have naturally ‘taken a step back’ and just kind of let myself ‘be a dude doing his thing’ again for a day or two.
And yet I continue to be irresistibly drawn to reactivate the mode of non-conceptual tasting-ness.
The mode of releasing thinking-ness and wanting-ness and simply resting *as* the Finality.
*Seeing* the Finality displayed before me with naked clarity, as that nebulous self-gyrating infinite-dimensional kaleidoscope we call ‘experience,’ made entirely out of Imperishable Peace.
It’s wild, man. Like, *really eff-ing wild*, lol.
So, we’ll see where it goes.
It doesn’t *really* feel like it’s up to ‘me.’
Though generally I do feel a stronger motivation than ever to allow Resting-As-God to become ‘my’ baseline mode that is always active, if only as a ‘background knowing-ness.’
We’ll see.
In any case, Life is really cool!
Like way ridiculously cooler than I ever would’ve imagined possible, roflcopter.
Everything is made of Weightless Innocence.
Go figure.
Anywho, I hope this finds you well, my dudes and dudettes.
Y’all are a chill bunch.
Thanks for grooving with my stuff over the years.
I truly love shaping words and music into signals that may provide some form of relief, inspiration, insight, or upliftment to other children of the One God Consciousness.
That’s like, one of my truest callings, brah! : )
I know so because it just keeps happening, year after year after year, regardless of whether it’s receiving much acknowledgment or (financial) reward of any kind.
The stuff just pours out of me.
I’m a translator, and honored to be one.
A silly maker, attempting to translate God into liberating art-sculptures.
Fun stuff.
Man, I’m pretty caffeinated right now. That cappuccino hit me.
Also sipping a German pilsener right now, hehe.
I successfully completed my 1-year fast from alcohol a few days ago, and TBH it feels great to be sipping beer again.
I love beer. As Peter Brown put it:
“If I go to a bar, what's the bar made of? Divine energy in consciousness; pure energy, pure light. It's a temple; it's the very body of God. What's beer? Beer is pure intelligence, it's pure consciousness, it's vibrating energy in consciousness, just like everything is. So what can anything mean other than that simple fact of what it is? Things mean what they are, and everything is pure light. Everything is pure consciousness/intelligence, existing in consciousness, perceived by consciousness, made of consciousness, end of story.”
— Peter Brown, Dirty Enlightenment
All right y’all, I think that’s all from me for now.
Peace be with you.
May the wind be at your back.
May God bless you and yours all the days of your life.
Remember:
Pressure’s off.
Let it flow.
We already won.
The God-Finality is already the God-Finality.
Hallelujah!
Amen.
Love,
JB
P.S. What are your thoughts on all this?! I love hearing from you. <3
This was fire. Very much like a poem in places and a sincere dharma talk in others. Very validating.
Brother, would like to talk. You're further down the path I'm on. I believe I grok what you're channeling, but like you said, I'm scared. I've got people who need me, which is another way of saying I'm not ready to let go of being needed. This stuff is a compulsion. Are we running or hiding from something?
We live in colonized god-space. We can take a break but I'm afraid to lose touch with those I care about in this colonized god-space. I'm watching their minds be colonized by sub-gods, some of the same small gods that colonized and formed the me that I'm not.
You obviously see it, and speak to it powerfully.
Now what?
Inviting you to come chat in the Creekmasons Discord.