101 Reasons Why You Need a Men's Circle
Warning: Tough love incoming...
Announcement: On April 11th, I am starting a new/second men’s circle within Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart—the men’s group I founded last year. I am doing this to accommodate more men within the brotherhood, which is still going strong after ~7 months, and has proven to be a powerful and nourishing space for men to experience ongoing healing, growth, integration, accountability, camaraderie, and to collectively discover what mature masculinity looks like in 2023. Monthly financial contribution is on a sliding scale to meet men where they are. Limited spaces are available. You can read more about the brotherhood and apply here, or book a free heart-to-heart exploration call with me here:
Men,
I’m calling you forward.
Below I’ve written out 101 reasons why you need a well-held men’s circle.
Warning: Some of these are confronting.
My aim here is not to ‘shit-talk’ you, yet often men need a bit of fire to push them to take action.
Men often respond to no-bullshit directness.
So that’s a big part of what I’m giving you here: Tough love.
Important note: Not all of these are going to apply to you. Maybe most of them don’t apply to you. But…
Keep your eyes open for the handful of these that really hit you.
The ones that strike a resounding chord, kinda piss you off, or ‘catch’ on something you’re barely conscious of.
Those are going to be the key reasons why you specifically need a men’s circle.
Let’s get started.
101 Reasons Why You Need a Men’s Circle
You need a men’s circle because you were never meant to do it alone.
You need a men’s circle because you’re having too many fake conversations and need more realness in your life.
You need a men’s circle because you don’t know who you are.
You need a men’s circle because men have always thrived when they have brothers and elders to help them initiate into manhood.
You need a men’s circle because you’re caught in perpetual boyhood and it’s sabotaging you more and more with every passing year.
You need a men’s circle because you have (almost) no one in your life who will actually tell you the truth and give it to you straight.
You need a men’s circle because you’re leaking massive energy through addictions and misaligned behaviors.
You need a men’s circle because you don’t respect yourself enough to live a healthy lifestyle.
You need a men’s circle because you think “fuck bitches, get money” is sound life advice.
You need a men’s circle because you are afraid of power, you believe power is evil, and you cannot imagine what it would be like to be healthily connected to your own masculine power.
You need a men’s circle because you are afraid of money, you believe money is evil, and you cannot imagine what it would be like to develop healthy financial mastery.
You need a men’s circle because you are afraid of your sexuality, you believe your sexuality is shameful, and you cannot imagine what it would be like to be healthily sexually expressed and fulfilled.
You need a men’s circle because you are terrible at honoring and standing up for your own needs and wants.
You need a men’s circle because you’re too isolated, in an echo chamber of one, and the YouTube algorithm is driving you deeper and deeper into a weird, ominous reality-tunnel.
You need a men’s circle because you’re already a thriving leader but you want to keep healing and leveling up.
You need a men’s circle because you lack faith in Life and humanity.
You need a men’s circle because you’re not seeing and owning your gifts, genius, and greatness.
You need a men’s circle because you aren’t consistently dedicated to anything that flows from your heart and soul.
You need a men’s circle because you’re not going to dig yourself out of that hole on your own.
You need a men’s circle because you are uninspired, unmotivated, and lack the fire of a warrior.
You need a men’s circle because on some level you hate yourself and you’re not sure why.
You need a men’s circle because your main relationship with women is through fake pornographic distortions on a computer screen.
You need a men’s circle because Life wants you to be a good father and husband (someday).
You need a men’s circle because you’re still living like you’re in college.
You need a men’s circle because you smell bad and don’t shower often enough.
You need a men’s circle because you regularly desecrate your body and mind with rotten garbage of many varieties.
You need a men’s circle because you’re full of shit in many ways and everyone can see it except you.
You need a men’s circle because you smoke too much weed and you’re lazy, hazy, passive, and imbalanced toward your feminine side.
You need a men’s circle because the booze has its hooks in you on a level deeper than you care to admit, and it’s (subtly) poisoning your life.
You need a men’s circle because you’re stuck in the ‘Nice Guy’ archetype, you let people walk all over you, and it’s slowly creating a time-bomb of resentment that is one day going to explode.
You need a men’s circle because you’ve let your ego quietly expand to the size of Alaska, and the longer you deny this, the messier it’s going to be when Life pops your bubble.
You need a men’s circle because your entire life is a trauma response, and you don’t realize it.
You need a men’s circle because everything you do is (unconsciously) designed to get you sex, and you (unconsciously) believe ‘fucking’ is the greatest thing in life.
You need a men’s circle because you have no idea what it would be like to passionately make love with your wife, with profound presence, such that your souls unify in the sacred bliss of mystical experience.
You need a men’s circle because your word isn’t worth jack shit. You say you’re going to do stuff and you don’t actually do it.
You need a men’s circle because the future of all our families and all beings on this beautiful planet depends on heart-led mature masculine leaders rising to the occasion.
You need a men’s circle because you believe adult development stops at age 25.
You need a men’s circle because you’re fat, slow, and weak.
You need a men’s circle because you’re scared of men and scared of your own manhood.
You need a men’s circle because you’re playing the victim, blaming your parents, blaming the universe, blaming society, blaming God.
You need a men’s circle because you’ve got deep wounds and you need a safe space to heal, where you will be held in unconditional Love and accepted as you are.
You need a men’s circle because you hardly know any good, high-integrity, powerful, heart-led men.
You need a men’s circle because your heart is closed and you’re hiding from Life.
You need a men’s circle because you’re slowly dying inside yet too proud and scared to ask for help.
You need a men’s circle because you are wasting this precious gift of Life.
You need a men’s circle because your (future) kids need a dad they can respect and look up to.
You need a men’s circle because you have so much to share with the world, yet you keep your mouth and creative channel closed.
You need a men’s circle because you are a leader pretending to be a follower.
You need a men’s circle because no one knows the real you.
You need a men’s circle because you’ve never cried in front of a group of loving men.
You need a men’s circle because you’ve done too many psychedelics and you’re floaty, fluffy, drunk on woo, and totally ungrounded.
You need a men’s circle because you’re not part of anything bigger than yourself.
You need a men’s circle because you don’t like the word “service.”
You need a men’s circle because the little boy in you is crying out for the compassionate male attention he never received.
You need a men’s circle because you’re obsessed with conspiracy theories, not realizing you’re using these theories to project your own wounds and fears outward, rather than going inward to face them.
You need a men’s circle because you’re hiding behind over-intellectualization and fancy jargon.
You need a men’s circle because you’re hiding behind ‘woke-ness’ and political correctness.
You need a men’s circle because your mind is cabbaged up with dogma and ideology.
You need a men’s circle because you’re a perpetual ‘flowboi’ who is afraid of commitment, living a life of New Age hedonism while calling it ‘spiritual.’
You need a men’s circle because you’re ensnared in juvenile cynicism, nihilism, rebellion, atheism, or scientism.
You need a men’s circle because you think Andrew Tate is a good masculine role model.
You need a men’s circle because you’re using ‘non-duality’ to subtly bypass your human life and keep your heart closed.
You need a men’s circle because you’ve never met a true man.
You need a men’s circle because you don’t know what unconditional Love feels like.
You need a men’s circle because you can’t make a relationship last, and your insistence on needing an ‘open relationship’ is rooted in a deep fear of commitment.
You need a men’s circle because you’re a slave, in more ways than you’d ever want to admit to yourself.
You need a men’s circle because you’re frenetic, fidgety, constantly distracted, disembodied, and rarely Present.
You need a men’s circle because you believe life is a burdensome prison sentence rather than an invaluable gift and opportunity.
You need a men’s circle because you never invest in yourself, financially or otherwise.
You need a men’s circle because you’re afraid of dancing and public speaking.
You need a men’s circle because no one can rely on you.
You need a men’s circle because you feel a strong reactive distaste for Jordan Peterson and/or Joe Rogan.
You need a men’s circle because you’re a workaholic over-achiever who never stops chasing ‘success’ long enough to ask the hard questions about what you’re running away from and over-compensating for.
You need a men’s circle because your ‘dream life’ was given to you by pop music, Instagram influencers, and a TV screen.
You need a men’s circle because you don’t know what you want, or you believe you know what you want yet never ask yourself *why* you want it.
You need a men’s circle because Life is ‘never enough’ for you, you’re always looking to the ‘next thing,’ and you’re never stopping to truly savor and appreciate what you already have.
You need a men’s circle because your wife doesn’t respect you or feel attracted to you anymore.
You need a men’s circle because you blindly trust external authorities and ‘experts’ to tell you and your (future) kids how to live your lives.
You need a men’s circle because you are not able to relate healthily to authority figures and to discerningly integrate the wisdom that many experts, leaders, and scientists do indeed possess.
You need a men’s circle because you still engage in ‘locker room talk.’
You need a men’s circle because you view women primarily as sexual objects that you ‘would like to fuck.’
You need a men’s circle because you’re too much in your Artist and your (future) family needs you to activate your Warrior, King, Father, Protector, and Provider.
You need a men’s circle because you’re too much in your Provider or Achiever and you’ve forgotten how to play, create, laugh, and have fun.
You need a men’s circle because you consume life constantly yet do not complete the cycle by giving back creatively.
You need a men’s circle because you read many articles and books yet never actually take big action or change your life in deep, lasting ways.
You need a men’s circle because you’re scared to share a space of Raw Loving Honesty with other men.
You need a men’s circle because there are a lot of things your dad never said or did, that you really wish he had.
You need a men’s circle because there are a lot of things your mom never said or did, that you really wish she had.
You need a men’s circle because people hurt you.
You need a men’s circle because your parents hurt you.
You need a men’s circle because society hurt you.
You need a men’s circle because you don’t know what it feels like to love yourself.
You need a men’s circle because you’re fake. You’re not a real person.
You need a men’s circle because you’re afraid of women, and angry at them.
You need a men’s circle because you can’t let her go, even though she’s gone.
You need a men’s circle because you’re the ‘Addicted Lover’ who easily falls for women, comes on too strong, and gets too attached too quickly.
You need a men’s circle because you don’t know how to have a good time without substances.
You need a men’s circle because you have no real friends.
You need a men’s circle because you’re dabbling in the ‘Wild West’ that is New Age spirituality, and a group of grounded men will help you avoid getting sucked into all sorts of wackiness.
You need a men’s circle because life on Earth in 2023 is absurd, changing at lightning speed, and massively initiatory. A council of good men will help you navigate.
You need a men’s circle because you deserve better.
Bonus: You need a men’s circle because you don’t know that God loves you beyond all reckoning.
In Sum: Will You Take Action?
Well, there you have it.
Told you some of those would be confronting, didn’t I? 😅
Some of them hit deep for me too. I’m certainly not perfect in all these areas.
A Men’s Circle is not a panacea or overnight solution that is magically going to resolve all the issues I’ve touched upon above, yet it is a damn powerful support system that can make a massive and even life-saving difference, especially when:
You’re committed to the path of truth, healing, and evolution.
You’re with a tight-knit group of brothers who are committed to consistently showing up for each other and going deeper and deeper together, week in, week out, over a long span of time.
You’ve found a truly well-held, holistic/integral, multi-modality, high-level men’s container of the sort I am endeavoring to build within Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart.
(Read my post on the ‘20 Ways Men’s Work Changed My Life’ to better understand how Men’s Work catalyzes and supports powerful change in mens’ lives.)
So…
The question now is:
Will you take action on what you’ve just read?
Or will you simply go back to scrolling the web and absorbing information that you don’t apply?
As I said at the beginning, on April 11th I’m starting a new/second men’s circle within Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart.
This is a golden opportunity for new men to dive into this work together.
Space is limited to ~12-14 men.
Will you be one of them?
Only you can answer that.
If you’re still reading, it’s clear that this post is stirring something within you, brother.
On some deep intuitive level, you feel the call.
Will you act on that calling?
Will you give yourself the beautiful gift of experiencing a long-term, powerfully-held Men’s Circle?
Book a free exploration call with me, and let’s have a heart-to-heart to find out if this is the right fit for both of us:
(If none of the time slots on my calendar work for you, just reply to this email or email me at jordan.bates1991 [at] gmail [dot] com, and we will find a time.)
It’s not uncommon to find people asking $400-500+ per month to join similar mens’ containers.
Yet for me it’s important that this work is accessible to a wide segment of men.
I do find it important for men to make some kind of financial contribution though, as experience has shown me that on average, men who invest in themselves and put real ‘skin in the game,’ are far more committed, show up more fully, and create a more powerful experience for everyone involved.
The monthly financial contribution for Brothers of the Ever Innocent Heart is on a sliding scale, and breaks down like this:
$111/month — ‘Bootstrapped’
$155/month — ‘Standard’
$222/month — ‘Abundant’
(If a man needs further assistance, feels a strong calling, and if I feel he’s meant to be part of this, it’s also possible to choose a lower monthly contribution level.)
So…
Essentially this is designed to really meet you where you are and allow you to choose a level of investment that feels good, workable, and activating for you.
Now, once more…
Will you be one of the men who takes action on this?
What is being offered here, is well worth the investment. You sense this.
You can’t ultimately quantify how deep this work can go.
You can’t quantify the value of men deeply healing, discovering who they truly are, and being that person.
I commend you on reading this far.
You’re still here.
Showing up for yourself. Investigating an opportunity for your own betterment.
That’s amazing.
So…
Book a call with me, brother.
I don’t bite. I’m not going to ‘hard sell’ you—that’s not my style.
It’s a simple heart-to-heart conversation, where I ask a few questions about what is real, raw, and alive for you—and you have the opportunity to share as much or as little as you like. It gives us a chance to meet and sense each other’s energy. It gives you a chance to ask any questions that you may have. I typically open these calls with a meditation and hold space as if I were facilitating a one-on-one coaching or healing session for you. It’s totally free, no strings attached.
Why not take a call that could change your life?
I look forward to meeting you.
With Love,
Jordan
